It’s easy to forget self-control, hidden at the end of the list, a plain, awkward-sounding word compared to the more dramatic sounding joy or the pretty kindness (both also important, by the way). And as a Christian, it’s easy to forget about self-control in my life. I’m used to being busy. At Davidson, necessity forces me to control myself to an extreme—I must do everything at precisely the right time just in order to finish things. (This mentality, of course, comes with its own problems.)
Cork is worlds away from Davidson, and in more than just miles! Everyone has time here. There’s no constant running to be places. (Everybody’s just late all the time. That’s okay.) For example, I met with the CU (Christian Union) last night for about 4 hours. That included dinner, games, Bible study, and tea and biscuits after. I love RUF, but that would never happen at home. Obviously, I appreciate the slower pace of life here.
However, I’m also learning from it. The last two weeks in particular have taught me my lack of self-control. I have lots of free time. I have lots of papers due in November. But there are lots of movies to watch. Often I’ll go to bed feeling just useless. Now, I know I’m not made for usefulness. I have this Oswald Chambers quotation on my desk: “If you make usefulness the test, then Jesus Christ was the greatest failure who ever lived.” I’m not meant to be the most useful person out there. I’m meant to worship God, and honor Him in everything I am, do, and say. And honestly, sometimes I live like a vegetable. I’m here to be in school, among other things, and I can honor God in my work as I can in my rest.
All that to say this: I’d appreciate prayer for motivation—the right motivation—to work hard here, and spend my time well. Jesus gave His life for me! And I want to live for Him, in spite of myself.
Mary! I'll be praying for God to give you motivation- for you to thrive where you are and in the things you are doing. Love you, friend!
ReplyDelete